Hope is a Journey….

The Unknown

It’s been a rough road lately.  So many things are out of our control in this life – and, when it relates to someone you love…it’s downright heartbreaking.

I won’t lie to you – these past few months have truly shaken us to the core.  We have tried desperately to make things easier for Sasha and, despite our best efforts – we have failed.  We’ve had to have some tough conversations and found ourselves in a place we have never been in before….a place where NO decision before us was a ‘good‘ or ‘desirable‘ decision.


After some soul searching and a lot of conversation with our medical team, we finally did land on a decision – but the entire process challenged me to get back to the core of my faith.


You see, sometimes life doesn’t give us what we think it should.


Sometimes it feels like life has cheated us or has betrayed us….and sometimes, it has.


BUT – until you can let go of what you think your life should be (or what life should be like for someone you love), you will never be able to fully embrace the life that awaits you.


Is it scary to take the leap of faith and just TRUST?


You better believe it is!!!!


BUT, you can’t have it all.  You can’t have the life you expect AND the life that is meant to be for you.


You can’t experience true joy without abandoning your expectations.

no expectations

You can’t LIVE until you LET GO.


In 2010, life changed dramatically for me.  My body revolted and I was left reeling – trying frantically to pick up the pieces and move ahead with my life the way I thought it should go.


It took some time, but I eventually realized that the life I envisioned just wasn’t going to be the life I was going to have.  It was at that point that I decided that I was going to just embrace the road ahead and take it day by day, step by step, hour by hour, breath to breath.


It wasn’t easy…but slowly a new life blossomed before me.  It sure wasn’t the one I expected it to be, but it was one that was breathtaking, beautiful, painful, and scary.  But you know what?  It was all worth it.


You know what else?  I would have NEVER imagined I’d be the person I am today.  I would have NEVER imagined that I would be in the place I am today.  I would have NEVER imagined that I would have the blessings I’ve been given.










Kurt Stahl of Cuppa Day and The Stable Coffeehouse on "Show Your Hope"

Kurt Stahl of Cuppa Day and The Stable Coffeehouse on “Show Your Hope”

There are SO many more blessings that I could go on and on about….so many people who have touched our lives…there wouldn’t be enough space in this post to even scratch the surface…

soraya nulliah so many blessings

So, when life threw us another curve ball – I naturally fought it, feared it, and was broken by it.


It wasn’t until I was listening to the final version of one of the songs I recorded in Nashville that I realized I wasn’t following my own words….and I realized that it was time to embrace it with an open heart.

Sasha Penguin

We fought SO hard against the things that were needed because we feared the change…but the truth is that the change is what was needed and the expectations are what held us back.


That’s not to say that things haven’t been hard (because they have been), that there haven’t been tears (because there have been many), that I don’t wish things were better (because I do), and that I haven’t felt broken or weary (because I have) – it just means that I know that, even though it’s not the way I ‘expect’ things to be – it’s the way things are.  I can either run into the arms of The Unknown with a fierce and determined heart OR I can let The Unknown swallow me whole.


I think you know which one I chose.  I hope you’ll do the same.

Sight of shore

Love and Light,


Comments on: "The Unknown" (5)

  1. Yes, you have been both blessed and challenged. It is much easier to handle when it’s YOU, so much harder when it’s your baby.
    You are a strong family.
    Love and hugs

  2. You have such strong faith. I am faltering so. I hope that I can some day I too can take that leap. You words keep me hopeful. Love you guys!

  3. Samantha King said:

    Thank you for sharing! I am praying for your family!

  4. Your strength is admirable to say the least!! Please email me when you see this, I have a quick question. Thanks!!

  5. Ramona Savage Martin said:

    Thank you Stefani for sharing your heart, openly and honestly!! Praying for oyu everyday and that precious family of yours, what an awesome inspiring Mom you are!!

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