This past week, I’ve seen a common thread flow through my Facebook newsfeed….perspective.
I don’t know if there’s a delicate way to put this – so I’m just going to lay it all out there.
Everyone has their own reality – and when YOUR reality doesn’t fit into the nice neat package they formed for themselves…
It’s a tough pill for them to swallow.
Some people can’t understand how ONE person or ONE family could go through SO much…
Some people judge you because they just CAN’T fathom it…
Some gossip because they DON’T believe it….
And some just walk away because they either CAN’T handle it or DON’T care to.
What people seem to forget is that there are feelings on the other side of their judgment, disregard, gossip, confusion, and abandonment….there are people who are already going through one of the most difficult times of their lives who NEED you…
They NEED you to try to understand that…..
This is NOT the life they had hoped for
This is NOT the path they voluntarily chose
This is NOT a walk in the park
This is NOT a laughing matter
This is NOT something to gossip about or judge
This is NOT the time to leave
This is NOT the battle they wish to fight alone
Try to understand that…..
They NEED your support
They NEED your understanding
They NEED your comfort
They NEED your strength
They NEED your love
Having walked this path before – my heart aches when I read the posts of others who are hurting or struggling because the people they care for and trusted have walked away during the time in which they needed them most.
I know what it’s like to sit in a hospital bed for days hoping that a family member or a friend will stop in and break up the monotony.
I know what it’s like to have family and friends pretend that your fight doesn’t exist.
I know what it’s like to have family and friends judge your journey and criticize your every move.
I know what it’s like to have family and friends go on their merry way…without you.
I also know the true joy that is felt…
When someone DOES show up
When someone DOES stop and listen
When someone DOES offer to help
When someone DOES try to understand
Sometimes I don’t think people understand just how much what they say, do…or don’t do – can hurt someone in need….
until you walk a mile in someone else’s shoes.
So here’s my advice to those who have ever judged a journey, gossiped about someone struggling, pretended you cared just to shut someone up, ignored a person because their ‘crisis‘ was ‘too much to handle‘ for you and you couldn’t be bothered:
You may have never had your life ripped out from underneath you….and I pray that you never do….because you could be on the other end of this blog post struggling with the heartache that many of us do.
You may have had your own battle, so you think that everyone should be able to deal with what life throws your way…and I pray your heart softens…because we are all built differently.
You may be afraid to open yourself to struggle because you don’t know what to say….and I pray you will come to understand….sometimes it’s not about ‘saying‘ anything, it’s about ‘being‘ there.
You probably have no idea what it feels like to be
Because of something that is far out of your control.
(Because you may never be able to get it back)
In the end…
And no matter what you think of me…
You aren’t without your faults….so I ask you….
And to my friends who are feeling lost, abandoned, alone, misunderstood, angry, hurt, and frustrated….here is my advice for you:
The hurt would be less.
Try to remember….
Take comfort in the fact that…
And that’s something so many of you do more often than most!
(Even if someone else thinks you aren’t)
(Even if it hurts like hell)
Try to remember….
And, as hard as it is to face sometimes…
I know it’s hard not to be disappointed because…
In closing….a few thoughts I personally wanted to share….and, my hope is that EVERYONE keeps these things in mind:
Love and Light,
Comments on: "Perspective" (5)
I love you my friend and am always praying for you all. Sometimes that same struggle is within and no one can see it. Who would think there’s anything wrong with someone who seemingly has got it all together? I know what it is like to be disappointed, let down, put down, discarded, walked away from, mocked, pushed away, cast aside, ignored, despised. Though through it all, I recognized the small handful of people who loved me, hugged me, laughed with me when everyone was looking, and accepted me for the flawed, broken man that I am and still held me in their heart as their friend. Thank you Stef. You always seem to put things where they need to be. I am only a phone call away should you need anything.
Love and friends always,
I absolutely loved this! I have had many struggles and it is hard when you feel all alone. God is still near but it would be nice to have people to remind you that you are loved and valued.
So many people have walked out of my life over the past few years and over the past few weeks more and more people have treated us good to our faces and then behind our backs are talking a lot of crap about us. This post really helped me a lot. Thank you for writing it and being there for me ❤
Nicely said, and in so many ways! I loved this! I personally have felt “alone” in hospital beds, and didn’t have anyone there… I don’t know the person I would be if I never had these struggles….
I see more clearly, I love more deeply, I am more compassionate, and empathetic. I am a better person, but I wish I could have the stamina and energy to do more for the world! So, in that way, I feel like I failed, but I’m still trying! I always try to see everyone’s point of view and where they are coming from. People judge, and are judged, and negative words can linger for so long…People cant see how I “feel”, but some “think” they can?? I find myself explaining, and justifying, when I shouldn’t be…Sometime’s why can’t I just “be??” To be or not to be that is the question? I choose to be, but be ME!